13 Things People With Chronic Pain Want To Tell You

It is not alone in our head. The pain is there and always would be, even if there is no apparent reason for it. Our pain is real and will not go away after taking a few pills for a week or two. It would always be there and we have learned to live with it. Here are 16 more things we’d like you to know about us!

1. We don’t make a mountain outside of Molehill

Do you think you can imagine our pain? Now multiply that amount by 10. No matter how understanding you are,   studies have shown   that people tend to underestimate other people’s pain. Chronic default pain is hard to imagine unless you have experienced it in your life. It is invisible, but it is always there. We urge medical care not because of hypochondria or the need for care, but because of our severe physical condition.

2. We need to balance actions carefully

We use the  theory of  the   spoon  : we have a limited amount of spoons every day that we could use for different actions. Get up, get dressed, shower, drive, walk, pick up the phone – every action requires us to use one of our precious spoons. On good days, we end up with a few spoons left, so we can do something fun. On bad days, we borrow spoons the next day and then need additional recovery. So if we suddenly cancel our plans with you or say we can’t do it now, it’s only because we ran out of spoons today. Try to understand this.

3. We fight to find a good doctor

Unfortunately, many healthcare professionals lack knowledge of pain management because it is rarely part of their training. We often visit numerous specialists before receiving a proper diagnosis and wait months or years to see a real pain specialist for treatment. Doctors are often victims of the cognitive error of underestimating someone else’s pain, and a small number of doctors are willing to take the legal risks involved in prescribing powerful pain pills.

The same goes for nurses. Finding a good one that can really understand and help us relieve pain is difficult! Fortunately, there are some online schools like   Sacred Heart University   that are training future nursing leaders to overcome these problems in the future and provide better patient care.

While you may think this is crazy, we are willing to travel further to find a good nurse with this type of training and get excited when we find it.

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4. We are not lazy

Remember the limited number of spoons we have? Now add the fact that it takes twice as much effort to complete even simple things. We try harder than other people, but still do less.

5. We try to look our best

“But you don’t look sick” is one of the most common phrases you hear if you have an invisible illness. Well yes, we try to look our best even on bad days when our bodies explode with pain. We dress carefully to cover our bruises or swelling, take pain relievers at the optimal time, and rest before leaving. We would love to spend as normal as possible! Even if we feel pain, we would keep it to ourselves until the moment we enter our apartment and collapse.

6. We don’t ignore you

Sometimes our pain takes up too much space in our brains and we just can’t focus on anything else. Pain can be very upsetting and mental exhausting, so forgive us when we can’t give you full attention.

7. We know that our disease will not disappear

It is always there. We can’t escape.  And yes, we have investigated all possible options. If there was a cure, we would know!

8. We are not drug seekers

Unfortunately, we have to explain that to both doctors and the people around us. We don’t want drugs. We want   anything   that will make the pain go away even for a moment. So yes, sometimes our treatment requires taking opioids or medical marijuana. We treat them like any other remedy. And no, we are not particularly fond of side effects either.

In fact, as the Cleveland Clinic explains: Addiction appears to be clearly rare in patients with no history of addiction. Addiction is a psychological phenomenon that is not caused by the chemical components of drugs and generally requires a different environment than the one we have. We take our drugs under supervision and go home to the loving family as opposed to street users.

9. We don’t always know how to manage our pain

Just because we’ve tried it for years doesn’t mean we always know how to tame it. Sometimes we have very bad days when the above routines don’t help. We simply close our eyes and wish they would pass faster.

10. We become very active on good morning

Feeling good physically is the most exciting feeling we can have! We can do our homework normally, take a day trip, meet with a group of people at once, and even think about running a marathon. On a good day, we are super active and excited about everything, trying to do our best!

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11. We don’t want you to stop inviting us out

No matter how many times we have said “no”, we still want to be part of the gang and get out when we really can.

12. We don’t have a job for a reason

Again, we are not lazy. It’s just that we often lack spoons to work on top of our other daily activities and tasks. Also, most employees refuse to hire staff for a few hours a week and tolerate the fact that we can leave in the middle of the day if our pain becomes unbearable.

However, thanks to technology, we can work from home at our own pace, performing various   jobs online  , selling things on eBay or Etsy, learn everything we need, from self – help and nursing to   design or coding   online . If we don’t have a regular job, it doesn’t mean that we can’t achieve anything in life. Multiple sclerosis did not stop   Vanessa Heywood from   creating an award-winning music company!

13. We don’t want sympathy, we want acceptance

Instead of putting on that sad “I’m so sorry for you” face, treat us as equals. Not that you should completely ignore our condition, but rather show us that you agree with it and that you are ready to make minor adjustments.

14. We don’t want your medical advice

Believe me, we have heard enough and are frustrated that they don’t work. Thanks for the idea, but let’s talk about something else. My illness does not define me. I know many other interesting things, I would love to talk to you.

15. We need to know that you are here for us

No matter how self-sufficient and independent we try to appear, sometimes we just need him to be here with us and hold hands on a bad day.

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